Friends who look out for me!!!!!

                                         what is it that i feel,whenever i gulp down an insult.....harsh words.....insensitive remarks........grueling silences.......accusing glances......or when i try to give in to it............................................................................. Bearing it..........i feel so lonely!!!!!

                                                  Everything around me goes in fast pace....i move slowly hearing the thumping of my heartbeat,waiting to breathe.....my lungs still trying to decide which one should do its job.My eyes being my best friend wants to shed a few tears for me but my heart says like a practical friend NO............she is not ready for it yet!my mind having so many garbled conversations trying to convince me that ,whatever happened to me was not right!

like a loyal friend!!.................my brain like a habitual friend makes my hand do its chores giving silent commands and getting things done..................My body like an understanding friend finally decides its time!......... pauses for a few seconds............i breathe heavily.................my limbs giving in...............a voice telling me,its ok you can cry now!!!!!

you are still brave if you do.................

tears started pouring down........my lungs struggling to do its job right......i gasp!my lips quiver

my heart races..............................

                                                         Then i realized when i have so many good friends working with me,crying with me.....they know me and are my ardent supporters..........I am not Alone!!!!!

Different!!!!!

                I have always loved this word....Different!....actually a little fascinated by it when i was a young girl growing up in a normal middle class family.My brother with his MBA as expected,my sister married young as expected ....i wanted to be different,think different,have friends who does not think like me.
I used to get so excited to see my mumbai cousins visiting us during summer speaking tamil like hindi!
my aunt who always spoke before she paused  to think.....different!

                                          Finally the day came when i got married as expected like everyone else!!!I prepared myself to live a normal life,!I had a baby girl within the couple of years of my marriage as expected......when my little was one and a half,she wore glasses!I cried she was different!......she did not start to talk until 4..I worried!she was different! she never made any friends but she was happy.....i badgered her! she was different! by 9 she was not like other girls.....she hated Justin Bieber ,
Hannah Montana....but loved Sponge bob and Amazing world of gumball!............I panicked!

                                                                 she made friends with boys and listened to him talk about game boy for an hour...I was puzzled! she is 11 now,getting A`s at school,still struggling to make friends,always cheerful even if she has to eat alone sometimes,getting totally excited to store numbers in her phone,shooting out to her phone everytime the phone rings,still not giving up on making a friend!
I asked her, honey......why is it hard for you to make friends .......she said that's because i am DIFFERENT mom,I paused.........i actually got what i wanted!...... this beautiful,brave,young inspiration that is right in front of me!.......now I am fascinated with a new word......Acceptance!!!!!!!!

                                   

A Warm Sunny Day

                                              I Once had a dream that i was in a Tropical Island,riding my bike on a warm sunny day.I started to ride my bike faster and faster down the winding roads,trees on either sides,
crossing puddles getting my bare feet muddy.The breeze blowing on my face,giving me a feeling as though i was flying through the air.
Sweat trickling down the sides of my face,as it reaches my chin the wind blew it away.A bird flying with me wondering how come she is faster than me.My mind was clear of thoughts,doubts and fear.I could feel my feet peddling to the rhythm of my heart.My eyes bright,my mouth dry,in this journey with myself.Then something happened,my eyes spotted a wooden bridge a mile away and a thought crossed my mind,"would i be able to cross that wobbly bridge".Before i knew it,my feet stopped peddling,my bike rolling down the road uncontrollably not knowing the reason of why i was giving up.It dawned on me,until i was not thinking,my mind took charge of me,when i questioned,it stopped asking for directions!!!!
      So friends Lets ride the wind or let the wind ride us!!!!!!!